Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
