so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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