i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
