Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
