I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
