He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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