I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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