let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
They have beer where we have blood.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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