I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
