If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
