Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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