4 words: hood of his car
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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