Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize