direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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