I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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