what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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