How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
