Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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