"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
