I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
