Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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(518): View more from New York

They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic

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(630): View more from Illinois

I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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(805): View more from California

Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.

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(434): View more from Virginia

I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.

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(217): View more from Illinois

He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.

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