There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
