So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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