**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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