What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
