Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
