We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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