I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
