Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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