I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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