i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
