He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
