Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
