I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
