Umm I'm too high to move.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
