It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
