I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
