If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
