I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
