Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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