if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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