I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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