I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
