whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
