dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize