break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He passed out mid-signature
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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