will power is for people who don't want to get laid
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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