bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
