All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
