i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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