Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize