i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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