i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
