i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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