How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
