Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
