Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
