I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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